Side Quests: Finding Purpose in Ukraine

I can't honestly say I knew why I was going to Ukraine for the first time this summer. I just knew it was the right thing to do and I couldn't sit home and do nothing. I was pretty sure the rest would work itself out when I got there. I have a lot of faith in movement; if I'm making forward progress, then God can make subtle changes to me direction along the way. But you have to be moving to allow that to happen.

Because my expertise is military mental health, I just assumed that is where I needed to direct my efforts. I still call that my Main Quest. In true Henry Cavill fashion, I keep finding these really amazing Side Quests along the way. 

Help99: Freedom Convoys

I volunteered to drive in a convoy from Estonia to Kyiv because driving trucks is one of my skill sets. Who knew hauling horses all over the USA would come in handy someday in Ukraine? I didn't know they were filming a documentary about it (The Convoy Film) because I probably would have passed on that. So I'm glad I didn't know, because I would have missed out on the friendships of a lifetime. How amazing is it that you start out with 22 strangers on a Monday, and by Friday, you're eating off each others plates family style, sharing every nook and cranny of your life, and brainstorming how to bring more awesome projects to Ukraine? 48 hours of trauma bonding will do that to you. 

I've spent months in Ukraine talking to anyone who will listen about mental health, and still didn't feel tangibly productive until I joined this 1-week road trip from Estonia. Handing off trucks and gear to military units, meeting and talking to them in person, asking them what they need on the next trip and then brainstorming how to source those items, is potentially the most addictive feeling I've ever experienced. Having a soldier rip the patch off his arm and slap it on mine with a grin and a thank you is almost overwhelmingly emotional for me. Ukraine has put so much life and purpose back into me that I am repeatedly startled to be thanked for the work we are doing. I don't have enough Ukrainian to explain the emotions, and a thank you seems so inferior. They don't realize that they are saving my life by allowing me to be present and helpful in this way. 

Please explore the following links for more information, and consider becoming a financial supporter of the 69th Sniffing Brigade. It's ridiculously exciting to see my name on every single truck as a supporter, and you might even get invited to drive in a convoy. If you're worried about donating money and not knowing where it goes, this is a fabulous option to make sure your donations reach actual military units in the form of the supplies or vehicles they specifically requested to do their jobs. It doesn't get any more tangible than that. 

IG: The Convoy Film

IG: 69th Sniffing Brigade

50 Birthdays, 12 Countries and Ukraine.

My 50th birthday was in January, and I decided to gift myself as much world travel as possible within the year. I had two basic goals; I was looking for a foreign country where I could work remotely for half the year, and I had also been looking for ways to volunteer in Ukraine. I didn’t know at the time that those would be one and the same. 

I made a plan to visit 12 countries over the course of 6 months, with 6 weeks dedicated to finding a volunteer job in Ukraine. Whether by divine design or happy accident, I went to Ukraine first, and ruined myself for all other countries.

The Scottish and Italians were delightful, but didn’t capture my heart like Ukrainians. European countryside is gorgeous, but not as awe inspiring as Ukraine. Artwork and architecture were lovely everywhere, but not as varied and vibrant and prevalent as Ukraine. All European food is better by default, but still not as good as Ukraine. Am I biased? Yes. Completely. I absolutely can not give you an unbiased opinion about Ukraine. I'm so in love with it that I know I'm over romanticizing all aspects of it, but that's how amazing it feels to me. It's the place my heart started beating again.

As an independent woman who prefers to travel alone and never needs help with anything, Ukrainian men were always so quick to offer help, that it just became easier to let them. I didn’t know enough Ukrainian to argue the point and they were so kind about it that it just became habit to accept help. Then I traveled by train with two large bags through eight more countries, and over 3 months, only one Scottish man offered help. Granted, I’m strong AF, I don’t look like I need help and I don’t really want help. But a train full of German soldiers sat by and watched me load suitcases in the overhead for other women and didn’t even make a move to help. Sure, I’d probably reject the help, but that’s not the point here. It was the same in Italy, Switzerland, Austria, and more, but I was most disappointed by the soldiers in uniform.

Along the way, I was able to visit a few Ukrainian friends displaced by the war. They were fantastic women who befriended me during my initial journey to and from Kyiv. Several times I ran into mildly uncomfortable situations and just needed a friendly face to help me through it. Every time there was a Ukrainian woman there who was quick with a welcoming smile and an invitation to join them for a meal. They even let me practice my very basic Ukrainian language skills. I might have fallen in love with Ukrainians before I even arrived. I have kept in touch with these women and try to visit them each time I go through their cities. 

A dear friend left Ukraine before the war and is building her life in the USA. We recently discussed politics and the varying degrees of dumpster fires offered by different countries. I told her it’s the same with people; everyone has baggage. The trick is to find the person who is worth the baggage, and has baggage you can live with. No one and no where is perfect. Every country has politics, corruption and ugliness. You just find the place where your heart beats loudest, and you choose to live with the baggage. 

 

So fair warning; if you visit Ukraine, it will change you. It might make the rest of the world pale in comparison. But if you’ve spent 50-years looking for the place that brings you back to life, just be prepared to find it.

Poland to Kyiv: A Quick How-To Guide for Traveling to Ukraine - Updated as of August 8, 2024

Updated August 8, 2025 to include my new hacks for train travel into Ukraine.

If you are considering traveling to Ukraine, please be sure to consider your own safety first. I found Kyiv to be very safe, aside from the occasional air raid. Assuming your intention is to volunteer and/or support UA victory in some way, you will be welcomed with open arms. However, at the moment it takes some serious dedication just to get there. At no point did I feel unsafe, even as a woman traveling alone, though Przemysl did feel sketchy af at 11pm on my first time through. Seeing it in daylight is extremely helpful to shake that feeling, but services are still limited. 

When I started this trip, I didn't have a Ukrainian phone number, which can be limiting to booking train tickets. I found a work around that I used until I got a UA sim card. The Ukraine Rail App has a limited timeframe in how far in advance you can purchase tickets, and they can potentially sell out the day that timeframe opens. Polrail Service has a slightly longer timeframe in which you can purchase tickets, and they do the hard work for you. If you don't have a UA sim card yet, I absolutely recommend letting Polrail handle the booking for you.

First things first, fly to Poland. There's a variety of ways to do this, and I'll leave that up to you. I originally flew into Warsaw and stayed a night at the Courtyard Marriott at the Chopin airport, only because I was so exhausted by that point and needed a break before the train from hell. 

I have since changed my flight scheduling and I fly directly to Krakow from Amsterdam, because my first night goal destination is Przemysl. Do whatever makes you happy, but also know that a few extra days in Krakow is absolutely worth the effort. Auschwitz and the Salt Mines are worth a visit, at the very least. 

You can use the PKP Intercity app to book train tickets in Poland, which I definitely recommend. Sometimes the line for tickets is long at the train station. For the airport metro connection, you can buy tickets on the train, either from a kiosk where you can tap your card, or directly from the Train attendant. I take the metro from Krakow Airport to Krakow Glowny, and then another train to Przemsyl. I use Booking.com to book an apartment in Przemysl for the night, linked below. I stay the night and then I catch the 0935 train to Kyiv. There will be a significant line to get through border control. If you want to be at the front of the line, plan to be at the train station by 0730. If you don't care where you are in the line, just show up by 0830. I'll do an update with specific location information about Przemysl when I have more time.

https://www.booking.com/hotel/pl/chombud-apartamenty.html (Przemysl apartment)

**HOT TIP #1** Polrail Service opens ticket sales about 10 weeks in advance. If you don't have a Ukrainian phone number, this is probably your best option. I recommend creating a free account, which takes a day or two to get approved. Use their handy dandy International Trains button to book from Warsaw or Krakow to Kyiv (Kiev). You enter all your personal details, and it spits out your options. 

**HOT TIP #2** Choose whichever train departure and arrival time works best for you, but know that the sleeping cars are generally not climate controlled. They take longer going through passport and border control, and they are not comfortable for sleeping or sitting. If you want a/c in the summer, pay for First Class seating, which is generally only available on the last train of the day. As a bonus, there will also be a food service car with snacks and drinks, which is not available on the train with sleeping cars. As someone who tried both, I'd only book the First Class seating going forward.

**HOT TIP #3** Bring your own food, water, and snacks, especially if you take the sleeping train. It's also not a bad idea to bring cash if you take the First Class train, though they can take credit cards if the machine has reception. It doesn't always work, so having PLN, UAH or EUR is a good idea. Your safest bet is to assume nothing will be available in Przemysl. 

You can use Uber, Bolt or Uklon apps for taxi service in Ukraine. The metro is pretty fantastic, and can get you from the main train station to almost anywhere you need to go. I prefer the metro, but if you have a lot of luggage, a taxi is probably easier. 

**HOT TIP #4** Get a UA SIM card as soon as you can. I upgraded to an iPhone with a dual SIM option, and my personal USA phone number is an embedded SIM. This allows me to dual SIM my Ukrainian number at all times, and I can turn it off when I'm in the US. This is absolutely the easiest way to handle it, but additional ways are listed below.

You can get a SIM from Kyivstar or Vodafone pretty cheap and easy. You mainly need the UA number for the Ukraine Train app and Kyiv City app to buy public transit tickets. The app seems to reset every two weeks, and asks again for the phone number and 2 factor verification, so it's not enough to just have the number. You'll want the SIM card with you in case it times out at a randomly inconvenient time. 

You can also just use your credit card or phone with Google/Apple pay inside the metro. Just look for the gate that has the credit card symbol, and the little glass box where you tap your card or phone. 

I stay in Kyiv for 6 months out of the year and travel back and forth from the US at least twice a year. I will also work on another post about recommendations and expectations within the city itself. Please feel free to reach out with any questions, as I'm happy to be helpful if at all possible. 

Dixie Biscuits, Baby

I don't remember where I found this recipe, but it was titled Dixie Biscuits, so I'm betting one of my Southern cookbooks. I have a friend in need at the moment, so I just needed a place to type it all out. I'll actually make some this weekend, so I can include photos. I will include the overall recipe, and my added notes along the way.

Dixie Biscuits!

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. (I use a large round baking pan that I inherited, but you can use a cookie sheet. Just put them in a circle on the cookie sheet so the sides are all touching and they grow into each other. Spray the pan with cooking spray.)

3 1/4 c flour (any kind will do, but once I tried whole wheat and it was not great)
5 tsp baking powder (Yes, teaspoons. Yes, you could use 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons. Same.)
1 tsp cream of tartar
2 Tbl sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 c butter
1 egg, beaten
1 c milk

Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl and mix lightly. Cut the butter in tablespoon lumps and add to flour mixture. Use a pastry cutter to cut the butter into the flour until it's coarse and crumbly. Measure 1 cup milk into one of those 2 cup liquid measuring cups, then add the egg and scramble together. Pour this into the flour butter mixture and mix together until it becomes one big lump. It should start to lose it's stickiness and be combined. Sprinkle an extra tablespoon of flour on if needed to achieve this. On a plastic pastry sheet or large cutting board, sprinkle the surface with another tablespoon or two of flour and drop the dough ball out onto this surface. You do not want the dough to stick to the surface. Do not knead the dough so much as form a round ball that stays together, and is no longer sticky, and press the center lightly with your hand to push it flat. Roll it out to about a 1.5" to 2" thickness, which is not super thin. Use a 2" round biscuit cutter to cut out the biscuits. Do NOT twist the biscuit cutter when cutting out biscuits. Just push straight down, and pull straight up. If your surface is floured well enough, the biscuit should stick in the cutter when you pull it up. Place the biscuits in a circle pan with the sides touching, or on any baking pan in a circle, with the sides touching. Bake at 400 degrees for 16-18 minutes, until the tops are golden brown. I like to check them at 16 minutes.

This dough can also be used for cinnamon rolls. Follow all above instructions except be VERY sure the surface is well dusted with flour, and roll out as thin as you can get it without breaking holes. You will want to roll it in a rectangular fashion, about the shape of a regular cookie pan laid lengthwise in front of you. If the dough sticks to the surface, it will create holes as you roll it, so the surface needs a lot of flour dusted on it. Sprinkle the top with a generous dose of cinnamon, and then a generous dose of dark brown sugar. Roll the wide end gently, starting at the top, beginning at one side and working back and forth, rolling towards you. Use a sharp knife to slice the rolls and lay them the same way as the biscuits, either in a circular pan with sides touching, or in a circle on a cookie pan, with sides touching. Use the same cooking instructions as above.

30 Days Had November

Remember that whole 30 day leave idea? I was never sure 30 days would be enough time to rest and recover from what felt like overwhelming fatigue. Turns out I was both right and wrong.

Except for that one week trip to Savannah, I pretty much spent the month of November sleeping. And when I wasn't sleeping, I was lounging in my pajamas. I had envisioned yoga classes and mornings at the gym, but I was so exhausted I could barely make decisions. Aside from weekly therapy, I barely left the house.

I also took the time to really clean all the drama out of my life. People, organizations, volunteer work; if it caused unnecessary drama, I walked away from it. And that decision took me to some unexpected places, but I don't regret it for a moment.

The last week of November was the first time I felt awake, and it would have been my first week back at work. Yes, I felt better, but I hadn't done anything to build myself up again. I was rested, and now I had the energy to leave the house and go to the gym, but I wasn't really better. Not by a long shot.

Now I'm a few weeks into December and I can breathe again. I have a leisurely daily routine that starts at the gym and finishes with whatever errands are needed that day. I've discovered that my identity has always been closely tied with my job, so having no job was terrifying at first. I couldn't figure out who I was. My stop gap solution is to focus on being healthy; mind, body and soul, and see where that takes me.

I don't have a goal, and that's scary, because I'm a goal driven girl. But I am finding a sense of peace in figuring out who I am and what I like to do. I think everyone could benefit from a little more rest and peace in their life.

Bittersweet, No Bullshit

I know when people say bittersweet, they really mean Thank GOD I am gone and don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore. And not that there isn't a certain level of BS in the military contracting world, but this is truly a bittersweet leaving for me. I have never worked with such a solid team of dedicated people who truly care about each other as much as taking care of the soldiers and families we serve. I won't miss the crazy hours or the heart stopping crisis calls, but I will absolutely miss my JSS family! No one but family lets me be my sassy, sarcastic, profane self and still loves me, even on the bad days.

So if you're not tracking, I have officially left my job, after declining the generous leave of absence offered by my contractor. I am taking a season off from work, and will likely start looking again after my 45th birthday in January (!!!!) y'all. We should definitely have a party for that ripe old age. But the party might be in Mexico, too soon to tell. I am taking a week in November to visit Savanna, GA and will obviously blog that trip here. Plus I'm seriously considering a December road trip to visit all my favorite FB animal sanctuaries and rescues. Whatever I decide, I promise to share the journey; the good, bad and ugly parts. ;)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The good news is I made this fantastic concoction for lunch and it was delicious. Just an avocado, a hard boiled egg and some cherry tomatoes. Super simple and yummy.

The bad news is I can never buy produce from WalMart again. It's close and convenient to my house, ok? Don't judge me. But a couple months ago I started shopping at Whole Foods because then I don't need to worry about looking for organic and non-GMO because they already did the work for me. The produce is out of this world fresh and mostly local. And now I can't go back to the pathetic WalMart tomatoes from Peru. No contest. Whole Foods wins.

But I wanted to balance out all this fresh new optimism with the ugly truth of my current daily life. I'm not ok. And very small things can still send me into a negative thinking, emotional mess spiral that I let ruin my mood and day. Not fun. But still a good reminder that I am not ok. Even if I have new found hope that a leave of absence will be helpful in the long run, I'm not ok right now. And it will take an active attempt at on-going self-care and life balance before I start to feel ok again. And that's a good thing. But right now, the ugly truth remains: I am not ok.